This is why Sean is the greatest Dad in the world. Or why I'm just not as great.


We got an invitation to the little girl next door's birthday party. It was a horseback riding party.
Cam wasn't sure he wanted to go. Not sure he wanted to ride or a horse...or be near a horse.
I was sure that Cuyler would be overwhelmed and keep his distance. And I was sure that there was no way he'd put a helmet on his head, much less ride a horse...


He has this knack for proving me wrong. Or I have a knack for underestimating him. And I feel guilty about that. Sometimes I worry that if something happens to Sean that Cuyler would miss out on stuff because of me. We have always wanted Cuy to do what all the other kids do and never limit his opportunities. That's why I called and asked if Cuyler could attend the party (the invite was to Cam). But Sean has this way about him that just fills Cuy with so much desire to do. Just do things...anything. And I'm so pleasantly surprised and excited, while at the same time - ashamed that I would have most likely held him back somehow had I been there.

But at least I called. Called and asked if he could go. And we took him and he had a blast. And experienced something new.

He went horseback riding!

Not to mention the fun stuff he did besides horseback riding...like a pizza lunch (his was homemade gfcf, of course) with a bunch of kids. And what fun he had with them!


Bloggers being a bitch and not letting me post more than 3 pictures. So click HERE to see the cutest forced smile ever!

MISSION PREVIEW
By: Sean

Two Years from now…

Cuyler is 5 and a half and just over a month away from starting grade one at Park School. He was up first this morning going directly to his older brother Campbell’s room excited about the field trip they will be attending with their summer camp. Cam is already awake. “Come on Cuyler, lets go wake up daddy”, says Cam. “Shh Cam…we don’t want to wake up the baby”. Daddy hears the commotion and leaps out of bed before the two can cause too much damage.

The two brothers playfully poke each other going down the stairs, trying to get the other to make a noise and in turn, make Daddy a bit annoyed. Cuyler has recently veered away from his “special” waffles and the two of them have chosen cereal for breakfast.

Mommy and baby soon come downstairs. “When you two are done, your clothes are on your bed”, says Mommy. “Mommy…will you pack an extra pair of shorts for me…in case I have an accident?” asks Cuyler. “Yes honey…your brother will remind you about the bathroom as well”. “Can I wear my soccer jersey to camp?” asks Cuyler. “Not today Cuy, it’s in the wash so it will be clean for your game tonight”, replies Daddy.

The two make a run for the stairs. A minute later, the sound of Green Day’s new album, with the two brothers singing along, comes blaring from the bedrooms.

“Let’s go!” shouts Cuyler as he waits on the porch for Mommy and his siblings. He’s psyched about the trip and can’t wait to get going. They hop into the van and they’re on their way.
Once they arrive at camp, Cuyler gives Mommy a kiss and a hug, and shouts bye to the baby. He and Cam bounce towards the other kids.

It’s 4pm and Mom arrives to pick the boys up. She see’s the yellow bus pull up.
Cam gets off the bus before Cuyler and walks slowly toward Mom as he chats with a buddy. Cuyler comes off a minute later and bounds over to Mom with a smile. “How was it?” Mom asks. “It was fun! I didn’t have an accident. And I didn’t sit with Cam on the bus! I sat with Jack because he’s 5 too.” “Great! I bet it was a lot of fun on the bus!” Mom replies. “Yep…it was. Jack said I could have some of his snack, but I said I’m not supposed to share food so I don’t get a sore tummy.” Cuyler tells her.
“Oh! Great remembering Cuy!” Mom praises.
The all get back in the van and decide what to make for supper.
Daddy comes home at 5:30 and Cam and Cuyler tell him all about the trip.



Five years out

It’s the first day of school. It’s a very nice day out and it’s decided that there is enough time for the Coleman family to walk to school together. Cuyler is starting grade four. He’s excited, however, is a little concerned, as always at this time of the year, about his new teacher and which of his friends will or won’t be in his class. He’s been doing extremely well in school, especially in math, and has spent a good part of the summer reading. Mommy always had new books ready for him and his brother as she could only take so much of the two of them on the guitar and drums.

As they reach the playground, Cam runs off with a couple of friends from his hockey team. “Come on Cuy…Eric and I are going to play King of the Mountain”.
“It’s OK Cam…I want to stay with Mom, Dad and Geneva right now“, replies Cuy. Cuyler loves his little sister, Eva, and is excited about showing her the playground where she will soon be attending JK. For some reason, he is also the only one who calls her by her full name.

Mom and Dad stand by and watch as Cuyler points out the various lines and what grades they represent. He grabs Eva’s hand and walks her towards the fence where the JK’s will line up. “…and this is where you have to stand. You will have to wait for the bell to ring and the teacher to come and get you before you can go in. It will be OK. Mommy, Daddy, or Grandpa will stand and wait with you”.

“Hi Cuy…I’m going to put my backpack down in line…did you want to come?” a little girl interrupts.

“Hi Allie. Uhhh”, Cuyler pauses, looks down at his little sister, then up at his parents.

“It’s OK bud…Mom and I will finish the tour for you”, says Dad.

“OK Allie”, replies Cuy. Before he runs off, Cuyler gives his Dad their ‘family hand shake’ and his Mom a big kiss. “See you later alligator”, shouts Eva. “In a while crocodile”, replies Cuy.


Ten Years out…

Cuyler has started Grade nine this year. He has grown into an above average student. He and his brother Cam who is in grade 10 even have a “friendly” wager on their grades this year. Cam and Cuy are extremely close, possibly closer then most siblings their age. Mom and Dad believe that a large part of this strong relationship is directly linked to Cuylers diagnosis and subsequent therapy.

The biggest concern that a lot of parents have for their children entering high school is the social aspect of it. This is especially concerning when a child with ASD is making the move. Fortunately, Cuyler has tested “off spectrum” for a couple of years now, his EA has not been required since grade six. He still enjoys spending time by himself but by no means is he anti-social. He has a group of friends from his hockey and baseball teams that he hangs out with and he tags along with Cam and his friends quite a bit. Even though he is younger, he is already 4 inches taller then Cam and has been able to get his “little” brother out of a few jams over the summer due to his size alone.

It’s going to be an extremely busy autumn for the family. Cam and Cuy are excited that they are both starting on the high schools junior football team. For some reason, the two of them always seem to play better when on the field together. Dad thinks it’s the healthy competition that brothers seem to have. The two of them have also been practicing hard all summer with their band and are looking forward to the talent show that the music studio is putting on in November. It’s a good thing Dad upgraded the ceiling tiles in the basement or Mom would have gone crazy.

Cuyler enjoys hanging out with his little sister as well where Cam is getting to that age where it’s tough to have his little sister tagging along. Cuy likes walking her to school whenever he can and would walk her home as well…if it wasn’t for football practice.

Friday night is the first dance of the year…Cuylers first high school dance ever. Mom and Dad have invited a few of Cam and Cuys friends over for a BBQ before hand and will chauffeur for the night. Cuyler has had a nervous twinge in his stomach the last week or so anytime he has thought of the dance. He told Cam that he’s going to ask Allie to dance that night and Cam has been bugging him a bit. Cuy sometimes wonders if his nervousness is due to his Autism diagnosis and during a commercial break of CSI: Argentina, asks his Mom and Dad what they think. Mom and Dad look at each other and know right away that the nervousness does not stem from Autism but, like any typical 14 year old boy, from whether Allie will accept his dance request or not.

SUMMER FUN!
It's so great that Cuyler finally enjoys the water. Two summers ago we couldn't get him into the changeroom at the local pool. The echo threw him into a fit.
Last summer we could barely get him into the pool. His preferred place was on the steps. I've been taking the boys to the family swim on Wednesday afternoons and they love it. Cuy asks for a lifejacket. He lets me pull him around the water in it and he's also able to walk independently around the play pool.
He also didn't like the splash pad. Too many unpredictable water sources. A nightmare for a kid with sensory issues and the need for control and sameness. But he's enjoying it this year!




We've been swimming at our friends, Tara & Darby's place. It took Cuyler a good while before he'd come near the pool, other than tossing anything he could find into the water. We finally just grabbed him and brought him in. He resisted a bit, but has really enjoyed it since. All he needs is baby Kevin's floaty and he's loving it. And him being in the floaty makes it alot easier than holding onto him the entire time.
(Uhh, yes. That's my pregnant whale body treading deep water)


It's been a really good summer so far. Aside from the the fact that I'm getting reports from Cuylers teachers of aggressive behaviour. Today he flipped a chair and table over - they were shocked. I wasn't. He does it here all the time. He's also been hitting, pushing and pulling hair. I'm pretty sure it's the fact that he and Cam are spending so much time together now that Cam is with him every afternoon. Often that time is spent horsing around, play fighting. All it takes is one hard kick or an extra rough push to turn the play into a brawl.
We're working on it. I do not want him to think that his behaviour is acceptable. It's not. Autism or not - it's not ok.
And the toilet training is unsuccessful thus far. Although I could be a bit more diligent about it, I'm not sure he's 100% ready...

Guess what we're going to start working on?
I really have no idea what I'm doing with Cuyler and toilet training. Cam trained himself at 26 months. Really. He really did. So there was not alot of work involved. The hardest part about it was remembering to make him pee before we went anywhere.

Cuyler...well...he'll be 4 in November and I want him to have it mastered by this time next year. He'll be getting ready for kindergarten, so he'll need to be trained (mostly). And I'm not sure how effective I'll be with a newborn/infant in the house as well...

We've moved all the diaper gear into the boys bathroom and all (okay...most) diaper changes are done in there. At every diaper change he sits on the toilet. He has yet to pee on it.

I *think* he's ready. Or at least at the beginning stages of ready.

1. He understands what we do when we use the toilet.

2. He'll go hide to poo. Then come to me, lie down and say "change diaper".

3. If he is naked and starts to pee, he'll stop it mid-stream if I try to get him to the toilet. He won't finish in the toilet, though.

Is he fully cognitively aware? I don't know.

I bought him some Thomas the Tank underwear and some Bob the Builder underwear. I was also thinking about getting some pull-ups.

I have always been totally opposed to pull-ups. They're expensive and to a young child they are no different than a diaper when they wet in them. But I saw an ad for these.
For an ASD kid, these could be really good.

Or really, really bad.

I may try them for a day, but my feeling is that he'd pee in it once and never let us put one on him ever again.

If there are any tricks out there that have worked for you or your child, please share them with me. I really have no iea what the hell I'm doing here with this whole "potty training a child with autism".

I am just loving our holidays this year. Seriously.
We went to Marineland today and I think it was the most fun I had with my 3 guys ever. Cam was amazing and walked the entire time except for a short uphill distance when he hopped onto Seans shoulders. He listened and behaved and just had fun. Cuyler amazed us yet again and only had 2 minor meltdowns.

He went on his first ride! I was thrilled and he really enjoyed it. We figured we (Sean) would take him into the ride area and just see what he did.

After the ride, we went to see some animals and came upon the bears. It was really fun to see them so close up.


This brings us to our first meltdown. You can feed the bears for $2 - they give you an ice cream cone filled with corn pops. Sean gave Cuyler one and said "Throw it to the bear, Cuy!" Well...Cuy loves corn pops (the organic gfcf kind) and popped it into his mouth. Since we didn't know what kind of corn pops they were Sean popped it right back out of his mouth...Cuyler was NOT happy.
But we got through it and saw a bunch more animals; buffalo, deer, elk...Sean went on a roller coaster and we watched him do some loop dee loops. We stopped for some lunch and Cuy was a trooper and ate his chicken nuggets and fries that we brought from home (and were hardly warm anymore).
Then we went to the show. This is when my baby really amazed me. We got in about 10 minutes before the show began. He sat happily on Seans knee and participated in the pre-show stuff by cheering and clapping. The clapping was one of the things that Sean and I gave each other "the look". The guy performing had one side of the audience (our side) clap 2 times slowly and pause. During our pause the other side of the auidence gave 1 clap...like a "We Will, We Will Rock You" beat. Cuy kept the beat and regulated his clapping with the audience. Doesn't seem like a huge deal, but now that we're into the RDI, we know how important things like this are for him to master.
He loved the show, loved the sea lions and dolphins...
Then we went to check out the killer whale tank...the killer whale tank (any Tragically Hip fans? anyone...Bueller...)
We saw 2 killer whales - a mama and her baby. Cuy quite enjoyed watching them glide around the water.
We took the boys to the zoo last year and we couldn't get Cuyler into the underwater viewing area. He actually wanted nothing to do with any of the animals. Today, he would ask to get out of the stroller. He would wave and say "Hello reindeer!" "Hello bear!"
On the way home I treated myself and got a tall vanilla bean frappuccino blended cream from Starbucks - my favourite! (though the banana is quite yummy as well)

This was funny too! When it was time for a bath, guess what HAD to go in with him???

And to top off an amazing day, we put the kids to bed and Sean made a DELICIOUS dinner of breaded veal, sauteed mushrooms and ceasar salad. The veal is sooo amazing how he makes it. It's just like veal parmigan, but it's so good we don't put cheese or sauce on it.
Laying low tomorrow, no plans, but we're back to the beach on Friday!

We started our holidays today with a SPLASH!! It was smokin hot out, so we decided that it would be the best day to go to the beach. We took them to the beach for the morning, had a few swims, ate lunch and headed home. We forgot the camera so I can't even show how eager he was to wear his life jacket - but he was!
We came home, had a rest and then spent the afternoon between our backyard and the nextdoor neighbours. They had their slip n'slide out and as soon as Cuy saw it he rushed over there. He had never been on one before. I was amazed at how it took him no time to hop on and zoom down. I mean Z-O-O-M! Check it out:





There's someting about seeing him with a group of kids. Just being 3 and doing what kids do, WITH other kids. As I said in my previous post, he would not have done this last year. He probably would have stayed in our yard as all the kids played next door. Now all he wants to do is be where the action is.




As I type this, it is 7:50pm and both kids are out cold. Time to go hang out on the porch. We'd be on the deck but the Junebugs are nasty this time if year. They're only in the backyard, thank god! They have hard shells and are the stupiest bugs. They just fly into walls, windows...your head. And because their shells are hard, they sting a bit when they hit you. Hopefully in another week they'll be gone and we get our nightime hangout back.