Where have the last 6 months have gone???
Today my baby girl is 6 months old. This is one of those milestones that are big for me. Like when Cam turned 5 last year. And when Cuyler turns 5 this year.
When they turned 3 was also a big birthday for them. It's getting out of baby/toddler-hood and turning into kids.
Five turns them into big kids. I think because they go to big school.

Anyways...back to my girl.
Six months ago today I never in a million years would have thought we'd have been through the things we have been through with her. Trips to Sick Kids weekly, home nursing, ultrasounds, xrays, cardiac work, bloodwork...
She was born after an amazing 4 hour labour and pretty smooth delivery. I thought that we were given this gorgeous baby girl as a gift to our family for all we had been through with Cuyler.
In the beginning - we couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby. She was stunningly beautiful (that hasn't change - she's just getting prettier), she was content to sit and watch the world, she slept better than either of the boys had as infants. Everything about her was easy. I woke up feeling happy and excited and RESTED. I went to bed the same way.
Fast forward a few months and we have a different baby. She's still as stunning as ever. But this fucking ulcer in her neckfold has changed my sweet baby.
She's fussy and irritable. And not sleeping. One night last week she stayed up until 4am. When she does sleep she's usually up a few times an hour. Tuesday night she stayed up until 2am. I actually had her in my arms and we walked around the subdivision until 12:45am. Then I took her and hung out until 1:15am with my neighbour who was out in his garage drinking beer with his visiting brother. Last night she went down at 11pm and woke up at 3 and stayed awake until 5:30...then woke up again at 7. I'm just spent and not sure how long I can do this for.
I know this will all be distant memory one day, but as we live it - we're running on fumes. The guilt about the boys not getting all they should/could be getting is creeping in.
But anyways...I think about how quickly the past 6 months have gone by and how quickly the next 6 months will go by and before I know it, we won't have a baby in the house. She'll be a toddler, then a preschooler then a big girl...with no hemangioma, no ulcers, no weekly trips downtown, no codeine, no excrutiating dressing changes.
So what we're dealing with at this very point in our lives is going to make us appreciate what is to come when we're at the other end of this dark tunnel.
I just hope we start to see some light at the end of it soon.

I took her to get her 6 month pictures today and she did really well. I was kinda pissed that we had a student on summer vacation doing them. She would take the picture right after Eva smiled. So we did get some good ones...but we could have gotten better ones.
I pick them up tomorrow and will post them.