It's not getting better.
Apparently Cuyler has caught my funk.
I hated today. And for awhile I hated being his mother.

He woke up late and saw Cam in a towel after he had a shower. He proceeded to scream his freakin head off for about almost an hour. He wanted a shower.
In that time I managed to feed him a waffle, get him dressed and in the van.
I get him to school where there is a group of parents yapping in the parking lot.
And there are ZERO parking spots. I wait - assuming someone with a modicum of courtesy would get moving and free up a spot.
But no.
So I park in the no parking zone, which is not all that close to the entrance.
Cuy's still screaming for a shower. I drag him out of the van, still crying.
I try as best I can to calmly get him into the centre. I drop my keys, Cuylers hat and his backpak en route. Nobody helped. Rather - they just gave me that "Whoa what a brat look."
In my head I thought "Ya...you're kids are perfect. Thanks for moving your vehicle so I can park somewhat close. Or even offering to help me. Fuckers!"
Nobody opened the gate for me, nor did they help me through the front door, which has a security keypad that you need to enter a code into. That was no easy task as I was carrying Cuyler by the back of his waistband and the front of his jacket.
I end up getting him in the room and letting his teacher know that I'll come pick him up if he doesn't settle. And all I can think if is "Please settle. I do not want to spend another minute with you."
I go back out and there are my keys - still on the ground, as well as his hat and backpack. I am thoroughly disgusted by these parents. If I wasn't on the verge of tears I'd have said something to them. But I got in the van and started crying. I hated him, I hated me, my life. I can't even imagine this going on with a newborn in the mix...

He had a fine morning, of course.
And a fine afternoon.
But picking up Cam from school was trying, as it always is. He has this habit of running into the middle of the road saying "Let's go to the beach!"
And as I grow and grow, running is becoming increasingly difficult. So I am going to have to figure something out about Cams pick up. It's dangerous for Cuyler and I don't want to go into labour chasing him out of traffic.

******************************************

I'll try and end positive again.
Heard at dinner tonight:

Me describing Cuy's dinnertime temper tantrum to Sean: "He's flailing around doing some sort of weird seizure thing with his eyes."

Sean, as always negating what I say: "He's having a temper tantrum. I used to do that when I was 4."

Cam: "You were autistic when you were 4 Daddy????????"

******************************************************

Epilogue
I went early to pick up Cuyler from school so I could speak with the director about my issues with the parking lot. Apparently I was not the only parent to complain. And 2 of the staff had told her what had gone on with Cuyler. One even came up and apologized for not being able to come and help me out - she saw me struggling through the window but was by herself in the room and couldn't leave.