The highlight of Cuy's day (I guess that's why the image posted twice??? damn thing) was when we went to the little toddler area of the zoo and he was able to run around. He had a blast boucning on the leap pads...or are they lilypads?
Anyways - he was so funny "Bow-see Bow-see! Umpeee umpeee"" Translation: bouncing bouncing! jumping jumping!

Aside from Cuylers limited enjoyment of the zoo (we'll go straight to the toddler zoo next year!), this was my ALL time favourite part of the day. These are just a few of the amazing pics I took of the polar bears. They seemed to be really crushing on Cam and I. They kept coming right up to the window and looking directly at us. I must admit - I was a little bit scared the first few times they came up to the window. Those guys are freakin HUGE.
(FYI - if you click on the pictures, they open up a bit bigger in their own window and I posted more pics prior to this post...scroll down)

Well...it wasn't an awful day. But it wasn't a great day either. Rather it was really stressful for Cuyler. He wasn't happy most of the time and I predicted him well. "Alldone!" "Bybye ahfant" Bybye hippo" "Bybye gi-ger" NO interest whatsoever in any of the animals. It was just such a huge new environment with tons of huge creatures to see. From his perspective, I wouldn't have wanted to be there either. We didn't get into any pavillions really - the noise and crowds did him in. So we walked and wandered. Had a nice lunch and played at the water park before coming home. He didn't mind the water park too much and did some running around.
The trip to the zoo started off pretty shitty for me. We came up to the gates and came upon a group of young adults who were mentally disabled. One was obviously autistic. I started to cry. Not sobbing or anything...just shed a few tears. I just do not want that. I don't want that life for my baby boy. People looking at him thinking "Thank God he's not mine" or the teenagers "What a bunch of retards!" I felt sick to my stomach.
I've been wondering lately how long I'll cry for what we didn't get. I don't do it all the time, but I do have my moments of sheer terror at what's ahead of us. Disappointment at what we're not doing. The older he gets the more fearful I become. I just wonder when our life will just "be". Where I won't think about autism for 1 day...or 1 hour for that matter. Where it won't be at the forefront of my day. Wondering what more we can do for him. Then I see people like the young adults today, who were born 20 years ago and whose parents were told to institutionalize them. Who had never heard of GFCF or biomed or ABA or FloorTime. I wonder how different those lives could have been. Because that WAS somebody's 2yr old baby boy. He is still somebody's boy.
We watched a show on autism yesterday (Jane Pauly - she's awful). There was a dr who mentioned that autistic people generally don't go on to live productive lives in society. Sean and I were like "Fuck that!" If that's how you feel, then thats what will happen. If anything, seeing those young men today and watching that stupid show yesterday gave me that much more resolve to plug on with our boy and bring out his very best.
I should say, in the shows defence, that it did reinforce over and over early intervention. And I got pissed off thinking about how I was bringing up autism when he was 10 months old and EVERYBODY said "Oh...he's fine...it's too young...blah blah blah" It was like they (everybody) decided to worry when THEY were concerned - not me. So people - pleeeeeease - listen to the mothers! They know! And even if you think they are being paranoid - let them be. Worst case scenario is they worried for nothing. On the other hand - if they are right with their instinct - they're that much further ahead by getting it early.

A bright light to end on: Cam and I went to look for shoes for school (found nada, zippo, zilch!) and I promised him an ice cream after. He decided we should go to McDonalds so he could play at the Playland after his cone. As we were sitting there at the table having an ice cream he says out of nowhere "This is great, huh Mommy!?"
"What is?" I asked
"This! Our special fun time!"

Where did this kid come from? He's is the sweetest soul I know and always says the perfect 4 yr old thing on the days I need it.
We really are blessed with the boys we've been given.