I picked Cam up from school the other day and as we pulled into the driveway he asked if he could play with Olivia, Jade and Matthew (all neighbourhood kids).
I told him that Olivia had gone out with her Mom straight from school and that Jade and Matthew weren't home.
He started crying (genuinely crying) and told me that "Cuyler's no fun. I like him as my brother, but I don't want to play with him anymore. Jade and Matthew play with me properly."

I was heartbroken. For each of them. For different reasons.
I can totally see how Cam would feel that way and how Cuyler just doesn't meet Cam's social needs. Cuyler is still very much at parallel play, while Cam needs that association with his peers. Cuyler is very much a follower. He's more an imitator than a follower.
That's why I felt so bad for Cam. He had been playing with the neighbourhood kids alot since the weather had warmed up, and suddenly - Cuyler just wasn't interesting enough.
And my heart broke for Cuyler, simply because he was seated right next to Cam when he said it and was completely oblivious to it all. Just had a big smile on his face, kicking his feet around saying "Play with Jade and Matthew!"
For a split second I was afraid for his future and wondered how many other kids (who weren't his brother) would say that. How many times he'd be excluded. How many people wouldn't want him there.
Then I thought about those same things happening to Cam. Because I'm sure at some point they will. And I'm sure he'd feel the same way about Cuyler on the odd occasion (or maybe all the time) if Cuyler were a typical 3.5yr old.
So I'm learning not to take things or make things so "autism focussed". Meaning don't make everything about the autism. When Cam said that I immediately thought of him as the brother of a boy with autism, instead of just a big brother.

I wasn't heartbroken for long. The next day I happened upon this in the family room:

Cuyler loves Trouble. It's a game he actually can play.


This is going in because he's just so damn cute.