Is it really in the eyes?
I'm not sure. They say that you can see into a persons soul through their eyes and that children with autism are losts souls, so you can't see into their eyes. That's why the eye contact is such a huge thing. I'm not sure I agree with that analogy.
My Mum says that she still feels as though he's looking through her as opposed looking at her. I guess I can see why. I always feel like he's looking at me. I can take a picture of him one day and he's not engaged and I can take another where he is - like the above pic I snapped earlier this evening.
Who knows...all I know is that I've got gorgeous boys. And they both have amazing dark eyes.
I've been wondering alot lately about what Cuy would be like if he weren't autistic. I know it probably sounds bad, but I sometimes have little fantasies that play out in my head about the things we'd talk about if he were conversational, like the typical kids his age. The other day someone was talking about how their kid never shuts up and how they wish they could get a moments peace from the kids voice. What I would give to have Cuyler talk my ear off for a day. An afternoon. An hour. Even with Cam, I loved hearing his voice and his words. It always amazed me, and still does, how he became this little person who thought things and shared ideas and made up stories. I just can't wait for the day I can experience that with Cuyler.
Maybe we're getting everything later and things are taking longer because Sean has decided we're done having kids, so I get to keep Cuy young for awhile longer. That's fine, but I could do without the diapers. Which reminds me - we only have to pay for diapers for another month!!!! Easter Seals provides funding to cover the expense of toileting supplies to children over 3 with a diagnosis.
I don't know why - but I feel like this is somewhat of a milestone. I guess because he'll be OLD enough to qualify for this service.
I have mixed feelings as we approach November and his third birthday. I am reminded of where we aren't. It wasn't long ago that Cam turned 3, so I remember it well. For Cam's third birthday we had a bunch of his little friends over for an easter egg hunt. I remember how excited he was. Cuyler has no concept of his birthday - other than associating the song "Happy Birthday" with eating cake. Cuyler has not had a friend party yet. He doesn't really have friends. But he has a family and extended family who are 100% committed to him...and the friends will come in time.
I'm signing off tonight with some cute pics of my baby boy. I took them all earlier this evening. His sweet cheeks make me happy. And I just love his perfect lips.