I couldn't decide which picture to post. They're both so cute. The one with Sean reading was from last night. The one of Cuy sleeping was just taken a few minutes ago. I have a "thing" with taking pictures of them sleeping.

Anyways...today was no better than yesterday. Maybe worse.

First off I got screwed on the auction...dammit. I go to pay thru paypal and she denies payment saying she doesn't have a paypal acct on that address (which is her first error - she says in the listing "PayPal accepted"). So she asks me to send it to another email address AND asks me to add 2.9% to cover he credit card fee. That is not allowed on ebay - so I reported her and now I will probably get a negative feedback rating from her. Dammit - I really loved that dress too. I should have known better. Her rating was only 3 and she had only sold tanning stickers before. Lesson learned.

And I had another one of my breakdowns today. This time at CIP. I was watching him and I really see his autism there. Maybe it's b/c the other kids have autism as well and they all do the same things, play the same way with the same toys. I dont know if that's even it.
Same as yesterday. I think I am going to either have to hash it out with the RC or her supervisor over my feelings. I just don't feel like she's on board. I can't even pinpoint it. But something's not sitting right with me. When the girls from CIP come out to talk to us after their sessions - they are so positive and so ... I dunno ... encouraging. Like they're really happy to be with our kids and that they enjoyed the time with our kids. I think I just want to feel like people are going above and beyond what we need and want them to do. This is my baby we're talking about - you better freakin believe I'm demanding the best out of his team. I'm at the point where I don't care if I come off as a bitch. I'm fighting for my boy here. And if I can't demand that my expectations be met when he's in preschool, then God help me when he gets into the school board.

And it is not going to make it any easier that I actually have an interview with the suprvisor tomorrow at 9am for the part time TA position. So I figure I'll interview first, then ask f I may have a few words with her "as a parent" before I head home. That way if I need to cry (which I'm sure I will) I can without ruining my composure before I impress her for the job.

I told Cam I had an interview for a job. The poor little love started sobbing with his head in his pillow. "I don't want you to be a worker! I want you to stay as my Mommy!"
I had to explain that I will still "stay his Mommy" and he won't even know I have a job because he'll be in kindergarten when I work. I told him I'd still drop him off and pick him up and when we wasn't in school - he'd be with me - just like always. He didn't buy it. But it's true.
Broke my heart. I don't know how working Moms do it everyday. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to get up, showered, make up and out the door by 8:30 tomorrow. Even Sean doesn't think I can do it.

Better hit the hay early if I'm going to do it!