These are our boys after a long day of having fun. And it was only 7pm!!
Poor Cuyler - he's SO spent after CIP. He did even better today. I thought he was doing great, but he continues to do even more things there!! And continually amazes us!

We had Debbie here today (Cuy's Developmental Consultant). She was so happy and amazed with the changes she saw in him. Which thrilled me that they were so noticeable. She did a checklist on him that we "attemped" a few months back (Jan, I think). He did so awesome today! Things he wouldn't do last time - he did with such ease this time. We could hardly get any of it done the last time. But not today - what a great morning!!

We had a good afternoon, a crappy early evening - you know what witching hour is like if you have kids - no fun. But after dinner we took a walk to the park and, MAN! we had a ball!
They played on the climbers for awhile. Cuy is independent on it now - YAY! Sean and I actually got a chance to sit down and chat while they played. Then we went onto the soccer field and played football (we brought one with us). Tonight made me realize that all of the people who have ever commented on the fact that we should try for a girl have NO freakin idea how much fun boys are. Well... at least my boys anyways. Girl shmirl! Who needs one??! NOT ME! I got my boys! And I cannot tell you how much fun we had tackling, passing and chasing each other. Got them good and tired (see the picture?)
I can really feel a change in the dynamic of the 4 of us. Our family seems to be evolving and it feels like we are moving into a different phase. I know we are. And I am so looking forward to it.
Sean says quite often lately "We got our 2 boys now. Two little boys running around. I love it. I'm so happy." That pretty much sums it up.
From last summer to now - we have changed completely. Last summer - I was isolated. Alone. Depressed. Frustrated. Angry. Terrified that the rest of our life was going to be like that. We couldn't do the same things our peers were doing with their kids due to Cuy's behaviour issues. We still didn't know exactly what we were dealing with (ahem...I did). The unknown. The unpredicatbility. The guilt - that goddamn guilt. Thank God that's gone.
I told Debbie this morning that I wish I had kept a record of life last year. Then I realized it probably would have just been so negative. I probably would have written horrible things that I wouldn't want a record of. But then again, it would have been my truth at that time.
I am just so glad and feel so enormously blessed to be here. Right where we are. I can say in all honesty, full of truth that I wouldn't want anything about my life changed right now. Okay - lie. I'd like less debt and more money. But don't change anything about my boys and or who they are. Okay - lie again...Cam's temper could maybe be toned down a bit...just a bit - I like him fiery!
The only way to explain is it just a feeling of inner contentment. Things are really coming to together - just as I had been hoping. I sometimes think that things are going so good something will go wrong soon (Sean knows that's the pessimist in me). But I was in a shit-pit for way too long, so I am really choosing to enjoy this. This way I can enjoy my kids and all their greatness!

Thanks for reading
~C