I think these are the cutest things ever! And the easiest...unless you're trying to get a child with autism to do one...then - not so easy.
I got the idea off of a message board I go on sometimes. I got the ornaments and acrylic paint at the dollar store. I smeared the paint on Cams hand and he wrapped his hand around the ornament. Once the paint dried. I used a black and orange marker to turn the fingers into snowmen. I put his name and the year on the other side. If we can't get a handprint out of Cuy, we'll just get him to decorate one however he wants so we at least have something for both of them for the tree.
So I think I've decided that I prefer Cuyler around children who function much higher than him. And I even think I prefer him to be around children who are not autistic...I think that may sound really awful too...but it's true. At least that's how I felt this afternoon.
He's in a speech therapy group that he started today. This is the second group therapy he's been in. The first one was last March and I stopped going to 3 weeks into it. Cuyler just couldn't handle it. There were 8 kids in the group, all with varying needs and it was just overload for him. He spent the majority of each session freaking out and it was doing nothing for him. There were so many kids with behaviour issues among their other needs.
This time there are only 3 kids in the group. All with an autism diagnosis. Cuy, as usual, is the youngest. One of the kids has SERIOUS behaviour issues. Serious.
I am terrified that Cuyler is going to pick up on these behaviours.
He never flapped until CIP in the summer. He was in a group with a boy who constantly flapped. That's also when he started vocal stims (I think he got that from the same little boy).
People who meet Cuy for the first time have no idea he is autistic. Even after spending time with him. I'm just afraid that he's going to pick up "autistic" tendencies by being around autistic kids. Sounds bad. I know.
He is a great imitator and is picking up a ton of wonderful skills at school. Our speech path even ackowledged these issues with this child and gave me the option of pulling out and waiting for another session. So I have no idea what I want to do.
Maybe it's just me and I'm still in partial denial. When I see him in his school setting, I feel so good watching him. He really just meshes with the group and is often indistinguishable from his peers. When I see him in his therapy groups - he looks autistic. And it makes me sad.
Just sad. He doesn't use his language and seems s lost as to what to do. Like he's clueless.
At preschool, he seems so confident and happy and he's using all of his language. He really seems to belong there.
Am I still in a bit of denial? Am I ok with his diagnosis?
I think I am. I really think he'll be fine. And not fine as in he'll be "normal".
But I really think he'll function. And be successful in life.
And just be happy...that's all I want for my boys.
posted by Irish @ 10:01 PM
8 Comments:
India goes to school with kids that are at least as "high-functioning" as she is. The classes at her school are broken up by levels of "functioning" (I really hate that term) and she's in the "highest functioning" pre-K class. The kids in her class (there are 8) are all about at her level but there are two in particular that made me think "what the hell are they doing here?" because they looked so totally "normal" to me. So for now, we're happy. I must admit though that I'll need some serious convincing not to take her out once this year is over and switch her to a regular pre-school with "normal" kids until she's ready for kindergarten.
We'll see. I'm right there with you though, we're fortunate that they're so mildly affected and want them to learn behaviors from and be exposed to NT kids as much as possible.
I struggle with this too. When I visited Henry's class this year, I was encouraged to see that he was so much milder than some of the other kids. A couple of them (there are only 5 in his class) are very non-verbal, and one was picking styrofoam pellets up off the floor and eating them. The girl he rides to school with in the morning is always getting out of her seatbelt and crawling around the car. I don't want him to learn these behaviors- I want him to learn "normal" behaviors.
I feel really guilty to say that out loud.
Your observations are interesting. We are cautious about integrating Henry in a typical classroom, we want to make sure that his aggressive (pinching) tendencies are in check or it could be a disaster. But I would love for him to be the "quirky" kid in the typical class, rather than one of the autistic kids at the end of the hall.
One day when we were at Gabe's "School" for ABA therapy, one of the older students started flapping his hands wildly out of excitement. Cutest and nicest kid ever, but I turned to see Gabe starting to flap, which he has never done, and I about fell out of my chair. I also worry about Gabe being the "victim" of another ASD student's agression in his "school". He's younger and not versed in "MINE!!"...@#@#HIT@#@ Oh boy. I have to believe that if they are with truly trained professionals, they will make sure to extinguish that behavior before it develops. It's definately a challenge to be on the mild end of things, it's a blessing and a curse. I am constantly asking myself.."Where does Gabe truly belong?"
I agree with you, too. From reading your posts for so long, it seems like Cuy would do better in a class with, as Sal put it, kids on at least the same "functioning" level. I know it sounds, and feels, bad to say that you don't want him picking up behaviors he hasn't learned, but why indirectly encourage those behaviors if they can just as easily be avoided.
Oh, and I LOVE the ornaments, btw!
My son is high functioning and one cannot tell that he is autistic but I do not fear that he is going to pick up on undesirable behaviors from other lower functioning children.According to my son's teacher it is not likely that autistic children are imitating one another's behavior(s). If my son starts hand flapping it is not the end of the world what is most important is that he is in a classroom that facilitates his learning style. I will only put him in a mainstream classroom when he is ready not to avoid behaviors. If my son has undesirable behaviors I don't blame his classmates it is him who is acting up. Even though my son is HFA I can understand where Tina is coming from. What if someone with an NT kiddo said that they didn't want their child around yours because he might start behaving like an autistic child. How might your perspective be then? That's just my opinion.
I think the terms "higher-functioning" and "lower-functioning" do not capture the reality of our children. At the New York Botanical Garden, it was clear that another child had more speech than Charlie and that he was hollering, running, jumping and not able to stand in line that his parents left. Charlie was munching snow, humming and babbling with a word or two, and walked through the whole conservatory and loved the train exhibit. He has some of those behaviors (SIB) no one wants to see. I do like him to be with kids who have more speech and other skills. It's another daily dilemma we have to work through together in reaching out to each other, because we need each other. I definitely do.
i guess i'll weigh in here and say that i don't think there is such a huge difference between high functioning and low functioning, in that, the core deficits are the same and the data on outcomes for highly functioning kids (ie aspergers) is pretty damn grim so just because a kid can talk and can be educated and doesn't flap that doesn't mean anything about the quality of life later, the ability to make and keep friends, the ability to find work they love, live independently, etc., the research is scary at best. my son doesn't flap and has tons of language and is, therefore, able to test very high on IQ (i don't think it makes any sense to consider IQ test meaningful for kids with little or no language) he makes good eye contact with us and is interactive with adults but until the past month or so, he had not one friend and wasn't able to be around kids at all. i want him to have the chance to be with his peers and i honestly couldn't care less if they spoke a million words or not one, if they flapped or rocked, my only criteria is that they don't hurt my son and that my son doesn't hurt them, that there is a chance for some interaction, some parellel play, some way to practice being around other kids.
that said, i firmly support your and everyone's right to do what they think is best for THEIR child. we know in our gut what environments and situations are good for them and it's up to us to speak up. and there's no way on earth i'd let flufy play with the kids who say suck my dick either!! my god!
Post a Comment
<< Home